Wednesday, November 29, 2006,8:59 PM
back to pen a few words.
3 papers down, 2 more to go.
if god doesnt hate me, shld be able to pass them, but can forget abt scoring.
not gonna think abt wat has passed, juz waiting earnestly for everything to end.
getting very tired and sick of exams.
feel as if i can bite any moment, but have to still try and control my temper. shrugz.
was observing pple ard me the whole day.
singaporeans are a weird bunch, but yet funny to a certain extent.
saw a man in the train who looks like a typical Singaporean, but yet i tink he is a tourist or sumthing coz he was holding the MRT map and looking out the window at every station, even to the extent of standing up to look at the scenery and prob the station name?
was watching the summons officer ride his motorbike into the w sands waiting area to catch illegal cars halting, and u can literally see ALL the cars moving off their positions, either going out or driving ard the place hoping dat they wun get caught. lol. machiam the officer wun notice ur car like dat. only 2 stubborn (or rather, dumb) cars didnt drive off. the 1st 1 got a 5-min stare from the officer, while waiting for the driver to come back, coz there was only a kid (i tink) left in the car. in the end the parents came bk with a swensons ice cream cake and drove off apologetically. lucky pigs. the 2nd car wasnt dat lucky. the officer was already abt to ride off, when he spotted the car driving in and happily halting by the kerb, so he stopped his bike juz adjacently behind the car and stared at it. but the driver was oblivious and carried on toking to her kid in the car. so after staring for 5 mins, the officer took out his notebook, wrote down the car plate number, and rode over to tell the driver to drive away. lol.
ok, i noe i abit kpo lah.
who call my dad late for 15mins.
met up w yiwei for awhile after my paper.
talked abt some stuff.
i dunno if u will be reading this, but thx for ur advice all the same
and lucky i met u, if not i prob have to either throw away alot of ciggies or force-smoke again liao. heh.
starting to get abit sick of smoking though.
starting to make me puke. urgh.
hmmz, and i tink sumtimes, sum stuff shld be kept private.
or prob juz btw 2 pple.
Saturday, November 25, 2006,8:51 PM
1 down, 4 more to go.
tiring day, had paper at 9am in the morning.
tonned over at fenix's hse with her gf and
her last nite coz i thought fenix stays much nearer to sch, so i no nd to wake up so early, but ended up slping only at 3+! lol.
went bugis with
her after paper for lunch, pray and slack w joel and another fren (yeah i noe i shld be studying instead lah, heh.)
other den the 2 hr paper, its been a pretty nice 18hrs! :)
except for a small disappointment though. shrugz.
got abit of nagging from parents for working tmr when my next paper is on mon. sigh.
but bo pian. i need the job. shrugz.
will expect nagging again when i work next sat. lol.
but after dat, exams over! :)
Thursday, November 23, 2006,9:15 PM
first and foremost, a very big CONGRATS to my dearest pig for being a full-fledged staff at Citibank!
she finally got thru all the horrible, mind-taxing, stress-inducing exams!
i m proud of u darling! :)
finally finished all the readings liao.
now gotta start on lecture notes and the others. urgh.
life STILL sux.
i have nvr slept so much for such a long time.
my full 8hrs at nite, and at least 2hrs more in the day.
and i still feel tired after dat.
sigh, premature aging sia.
doesnt help dat 1 side of my neck is semi-paralysed now.
dunno wat the hell i did oso.
URGH. i wanna go out and play!
*bites teeth*
and starhub cut 3 of my working days!
so less $$ to earn for dec! damn.
i need to find alternatives le.
any work lobang?
oh, was surprised dat me and cec got A for the essay we did.
hey ger, u are the best man!! :)
and Singaporeans are damn weird these days.
juz read an article in the newspapers 2dae.
it talks abt this guy who parked his car illegally, resulting in his wheel getting clamped byt he carpark management.
and to remove the clamp, he needs to pay $100.
den he told the attendant he dun have cash, and offered to pay by Nets or credit card (diaoz. have u seen a carpark attendant carrying a Nets/credit card machine ard??)
so obviously, the attendant say cannot, and ask him to walk a few steps to the ATM machine to draw $$ 1st.
but he refused, and guess wat? he drove off with the clamp still attached to his wheel!
and the clamp broke lah, obviously.
and after dat, the carpark management wanted to sue him for the unpaid fine and the damage to the clamp, and he actually counter-sued for the damage to his wheel caused by the broken clamp which HE damaged!
madness. too bo liao sia.
and to think he is a private tutor at 43yrs.
no wonder he is not a proper teacher.
in the end, from wat i last read, he still muz pay $2000 for legal fees while the case is still pending.
isnt it better if he had paid dat $100 in the beginning juz by walking a few more steps to the ATM machine???
tsk tsk.
not to mention stupid stories like lorry drivers stopping at traffic junctions and stepping out of their vehicle juz to walk over to the taxi next to it and punch the taxi driver juz becoz he cut his lane earlier on to pick up a passenger.
wats with pple these days?
*shakes head*
ok, its a damn long post.
enough for now.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006,8:55 PM
couldnt resist popping in to leave a few words.
theres only 1 word to summarise my routine for dis wk, and prob the next, BORING.
wake up, study abit, brunch+tv, study+snacking, short break, study, bathe, dinner+tv+online, study, sleep.
no life.
finally gonna meet
her for dinner tmr!
thank god its the 22nd, if not
she will prob not agree to meet.
on a lighter note, the faster exams come, the sooner it ends. :)
hoping to pile myself with work in dec.
need $$!!
if starhub has no vacancies for me, might look at other alternatives den.
attempt to coerce/persuade my bro to switch his plan to starhub failed.
he still likes to remain in M1. shrugz.
Sunday, November 19, 2006,10:51 PM
took half the train journey to bask in the remains of ur closeness.
wout much words exchanged.
but at the endpoint, i left wout turning back. again.
its the time of the year again.
the time where i force myself to be buried in my cave, leaving everything and everyone else outside.
it always happens b4 exams. most of the time.
i dun understand why muz there be so many explanations among pple.
why cant pple juz give and take, listen and let past, forgive and forget?
i already have 2 suggestted "serious talking" sessions lined up after exams.
both of which i cant really run away from.
dun u guys already noe i m not sum1 who can express exactly wat i think verbally in front of pple?? (dis is not directed to any1 in particular)
why cant pple juz be able to read each others' minds??
den i will have a "script" to say when i put 2-and-2 together.
urgh. wat muz come, will come.
do u all really think i actually like saying "aiya wateva lah, dun care lah. up to u lah."??
ok, i admit i dun dislike saying it.
but i have reasons for saying it.
most of the times i really cant decide.
or rather, i cant come up with a decision dat i think is good enough.
every decision i am made to make, i have to consider alot of things.
whether the pple involved will be happy, whether i will be happy, will there be any consequences after dat, etc.
i have nearly reached the point whereby the more serious the decision is, the more i fear of making it.
becoz i made too many wrong decisions in my life.
and regretting after everything sux.
all becoz i think with my heart, not my brain.
i am juz not rational enough when it concerns me.
maybe i m too selfish?
maybe i rather accept the wrong decisions others make, den to make 1 myself.
are we really not open with each other enough?
are there really alot of "shit" behind the smiles?
do we hide too much, thinking its for the betterment for the other?
or do we juz not see the need to say/ask too much?
i m bad at reacting on the spot.
i am not a quick thinker.
nor a fast reactor.
i act on impulse.
so i need time to think.
before i can come up with sumthing rationally possible.
or sumting close to dat.
cheryl: paiseh ah, caused 2 "cane marks" on ur leg juz now. heh. sry sry. and thx 4 offering to get bb tea 4 me. :)
ok, this will prob be the longest entry till exams are over.
prob save the rest till den.
gd luck to all those having exams too!
Friday, November 17, 2006,9:16 PM
went for the very last tut of the sem.
wasn't presenting, but juz went to support my grpmates and mark attendance. lol.
after dat brought cheryl to tiong bahru mkt for lunch.
since she has been saying she wans me to brg her go eat nice food, so brg her go loh.
lunch was on me, coz owe her a bdae treat.
sry ah ger, still quite broke so can only treat u to hawker food ah.
brought her to eat the famous sharks meat lor mee, and famous porridge + yu sheng and ice cream ice kachang.
will blog abt it in my food blog when pics r rdy.
when she told me she still gian to eat braised duck rice, i nearly died.
told her i cannot stuff anymore food liao lah.
but i still ta bao sum hum chin peng, curry puffs and 'butterfly' from another famous stall, and the famous Jian Bo Shui Kueh home. lol.
yah yah, i noe we bot alot of food. heh.
we were chatting while eating, when she suddenly told me this.
she said "i can see u r much happier now."
i gave her the blur face, and answered "huh? as compared to?"
she replied "as compared to when u were with ur prev gfs loh."
at that moment, i didnt noe wat to react.
so i juz said "ohok. yeah i guess i am."
am i? i guess.
no offence to the prev 2.
i still treasure the gd times i had with them.
but i guess, theres definitely a reason or 2 why we didnt last.
they are really not dat bad lah, contrary to wat sum friends think, they do have their gd points.
dats wat attracted me to them in the 1st place.
but i guess, other underlying reasons are unveiled as time passes.
but of coz, i m partly to blame too.
oh well.
its nice dat theres shared chemistry.
but cant it be displayed at more suitable times?
i see the tears coming down ur eyes, and i finally realised, crying might not be a bad thing after all
Thursday, November 16, 2006,9:07 PM
juz finished the last quiz dis morn b4 the exams.
a mixture of relief, tiredness and fear.
i noe its too early to be saying this, but its hard to be a surviving adult in sg.
pple juz have so many expectations of u, dat even u urself is embedded in all those self-expectations. in all aspects.
in sch and work, i have to be hardworking, responsible, mature, cooperative, etc.
at home, i have to be a gd daughter, respectful, filial, etc.
and personally, i have to be a gd and loyal fren, mature and understanding gf, etc.
the list juz gets longer as i grow older.
but sumtimes, all i wan is juz to be a childish, pampered kid.
able to do anything i like with pple i love, anytime i wan.
but i guess, life will nvr be so nice.
solitary bus rides are mildly therapeutic.
they help u tink.
starting to get hooked on them.
things ard me are getting mad.
hp and mp3 are shutting off as and when they like.
and why does it always rain everytime i m nearly reaching home???
cant it wait till i m inside my hse??
urgh.
have been a hermit for a few days now.
other den sch, have been locking myself at home.
but all i do is lie on the bed and try to slp?
or go downstairs and find food?
guess i can only cram everything in me 1 wk b4 exams.
and fall sick after dat. lol.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006,9:17 PM
my mum really CAN tok.
she does it everyday without fail.
she have been toking since the 7pm show, after dat on the fone, and after putting down she started commenting on the superstar contestants. all without a pause.
i finally couldnt stand it anymore, and told her in a very nice way, "mummy, i tink u can take part in sum speech marathon competition liao. if i see any, i will definitely recommend u for it." den she ask "y leh?" den i replied" coz u have been tokking non-stop since the 7pm show till now!!" and this is ard 8.30pm when i finally stood up (at the 1st instance of a pause from her) and said i wanted to go upstairs liao. woah.
and when we were upstairs, she can actually launch into a long paragraph of why she can tok so much?? she says its inherited from my grandma, and it shows that they have lots of "qi" and how my grandpa dun tok much so dats why dun live long, and blah blah. woah.
if this holds true, i tink i will die early. shrugz.
have been sleeping nearly the whole day.
feel like a hermit now.
time to do sum work.
but my eyeballs feel like its gonna pop out from too much rubbing. urgh.
,9:14 PM
now this is a much harder pic to guess den the prev one.
these are 2 diff drks. if u can guess which drk is wat, i give u a prize. no clues though. :p
Monday, November 13, 2006,9:08 PM
i originally wanted to post a whole paragraph complaining abt my bro's attitude and his bochap-ness, but now facing the comp, suddenly dun have the urge to anymore. so forget it.
2wks more to exams. its time to rush.
and force myself to face the words.
dun be surprised if i m easily agitated.
studying isnt exactly the "fun-est" thing.
i will try to make it for the dec gathering ok?
will try 2 find replacement for work if necessary.
Sunday, November 12, 2006,11:09 PM
"you yi zhong xing fu de gan jue" - the nicest sentence i heard from
her so far.
,4:21 PM
woah, finally at home on a sun.
haven slacked at home on a wkend since dunno when.
ok, haven slacked at home on ANY day since dunno when.
but am starting to get abit bored now. heh.
and parents dun wanna go TM w me to get snacks! shrugz.
she will be starting work on tues.
so i guess other den sch, i will prob be at home. sigh.
okok, yeah i noe, i shld START studying le.
i will, i will, k?
watched Step Up last nite.
hmmz its juz an OK show bah.
the dancing is pretty cool, i muz admit.
but plot and storyline? ermz, nothing fantastic.
the usual stuff like boy meets girl, have sumting in common, do sumting romantic, fall in love, quarrel, small split, get bk together, fall even more in love, blah.
but the hip hop dancing is WOAH!
the lead actor and actress really can gyrate man!! woohoo!!
basically i tink not very worth it to watch on a wkend bah. too ex.
and freaking crowded!
last nite was machiam animals-let-out day in town lah! pple were EVERYWHERE. sigh.
and mostly kids summore. double sigh.
mummy bot 6 of my 2nd fav curry puffs (1st is OCK, so far) and 2 yummy vadais dis morning!
and a tub each of choc ice cream and NY cheesecake ice cream dunno when.
gonna grow REAL fat with everyday i stay at home!
not to forget my unopened bar of dark choc. heh.
gonna get sooo killed by sum1. :p
aiya, kills "stress-cells" mah, heh.
i wanna go ktv soon! any1 wanna go??
prob this coming sun?? or next wk oso can??
okok, i noe i noe, i will study b4 i go de.
there shld be a $1 bb tea shop juz outside my hse lah.
it shld be able to earn pretty enough, with part of it coming from me. heh.
Thursday, November 09, 2006,9:48 PM
any1 wanna make a guess wat are these?? :)
,9:23 PM
haha surprised to see pics of food here??
she came over to my place dis afternoon to study, so i cooked lunch for her. wanted to whip up sumting nice and diff, but she was nice and sweet enough to only ask for sumting simple coz i was sick last nite (and still am now), so ended up cooking the all-so-common pasta loh. and a can of minestrone soup. but i tink we cooked too much for both of us sia. i overestimated our appetite, and cooked abit too much spaghetti and sauce. heh. the tomato-based sauce was filled with chicken, mushrooms, crabsticks and sausages. we both ate until wan to vomit liao. and she couldnt even finish half of the spaghetti, juz finished all the ingredients. lol. but despite it all, hope it is still able to satisfy her "fei chang diao de zui", at least abit?? shall whip up something nicer for her and u guys after exams k, prob dessert? heh. muz start practising again le.
these days sch have been mad. lucky all the deadlines r more or less ending. which oso means exams are approaching. which oso means doomsday coming?? URGH. dun care lah, faster come, faster go. and she is starting work next wk liao, which oso means lesser time to meet. URGH x2. muz take up more wkday jobs in dec to kp myself busy again. and earn $$! heh.
cant think of wat else to blog abt le. signing off.........
Wednesday, November 08, 2006,10:10 AM
surprised to see my post at this time eh?
in the comp lab in my fac now.
supposed to go 4 lesson at arts at 9am, but i overslept, so missed it and decided to go to my fac and photocopy notes using this bought-super-long-ago photocopier card dat can ONLY be used in my fac. but when i tried to use it, it couldnt bloody work, and i realised it "expired". urgh.
so dats how i ended up in the comp lab.
while waiting 4
her and LS to come down.
super tired.
overslept twice dis wk liao.
the 1st time lucky got maid to wake me up in time.
but this time, too bad.
set my alarm clock as usual, but ended up banging it down n went bk to slp.
lucky i popped up of my own accord awhile later.
ltr still muz study the whole day. yawnz.
felt like i haven slept well for dunno how many days. urgh.
and i need to cut my hair soon!! thurs. i m quite sure of it. :)
and i got a super bad news AGAIN.
i tink i cant make it for the dec gathering again.
coz the 1st and 2nd sat (2nd and 9th) i will be working again.
really really sry guys!!
or how abt rescheduling it to the 3rd (sun)? or wkdays?
i noe i missed alot of gatherings le, really really sry!!
will try 2 make up 4 it after exams k??
i will TRY not to accept anymore wkend slots as much as possible for dec loh.
btw, will we be having any christmas gathering dis yr??
oh yah, char, i received ur postcard few days ago le, thx alot ger! hope everyting is gg well for u over there! be bk soon!! :)
,10:08 AM
You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.
In spite of all the opposition, you are insisting that your goals are realistic but circumstances are forcing you to compromise. You are not very happy with this situation but there is little that you can do about it. You have very strict standards which you try to apply to everyone who enters your sphere of influence.
As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.
You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.
wow, dis IS quite true!http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm
Monday, November 06, 2006,6:42 PM
damn tired again. as usual.
had 2 wake up early to meet cec in sch to finish up dat stupid essay.
overslept in the train and ended up at boon lay, so had to take the train bk to clementi.
was unhappy over sch and myself, so decided 2 take a long bus journey bk 2 tamp.
took 10 from kent ridge, and was hoping to slp n slack 4 the whole ride.
but was freaking cold n hungry, so stopped halfway at katong to get sum food.
ended up having a bowl of laksa at the usual place i used 2 go sum time bk.
b4 dat, walked past this homemade bakery n bought 3 diff types of choc muffins!
1 choc blueberry, 1 oreo and 1 choc chip. heh.
since when can i resist food?
and chocs are the best cure for a sad person mah.
will blog abt the laksa and the muffins in the food blog once i got my pics up.
after my laksa n a cigg, was a little happier.
so took another long bus journey bk home.
and when reached pasir ris, ended up buying 2 bb teas (1 for bro lah) again.
hahahaha. now u noe where all my $$ goes.
2 more projects left to go.
cant wait to get out of nus.
dun like studying.
dun like my course.
dun like travelling to clementi and bk nearly everyday.
dun like the pple in my course (except those i hang out with i guess).
dun like projects.
dun like essays.
dun like tutorials.
dun like exams.
so wats left for me to like?
its gonna be another day i drag myself to sch again tmr.
but thankfully am meeting
her tmr.
prob the only day in the whole wk. sigh.
,6:20 PM
feeling bo liao, so decided to post sum pics we took in Malacca. heh. will post my normal entry ltr.
Sunday, November 05, 2006,11:26 PM
urgh. my prev post yest dat i rushed home to type didnt got published.
wat the hell.
anyway its juz complaints.
and self-reflection.
and self-empathy. shrugz.
lucky its mostly gone 2dae.
tiring day.
sales was actually NOT BAD for a sun.
was serving customers 1 after another.
btu not as bad as yest lah.
made a nearly fatal mistake. urgh.
but LUCKY, managed to rescue myself at the last min. sigh.
and when i tot tmr can finally slack n rest, have to meet cec in sch for the stupid malay essay.
oh well. sch always sucks.
prob wun be seeing
her till dunno when. sigh.
sat not counted.
i cant wait 4 exams to end.
although it hasnt even started.
Thursday, November 02, 2006,8:14 PM
its as though all energy have been zapped from me.
i m juz so tired. again.
pple shld juz stop getting on my nerves.
cleared 1 more presentation dis morn.
after only abt 4-5hrs of slp.
my rm was suddenly damn cold last nite, n i didnt have a blanket, so tried all sorts of postures to slp.
sat crosslegged w head down on the pillow, lay on my side with legs tucked in, sat crosslegged w head resting on my bed (i was slping on a mattress on the floor), etc.
u name it, i tink i done it.
even have to resort to slping in the toilet (coz there no aircon mah) for abt an hr.
but didnt dare to increase the temp or off the aircon coz
she was wrapped up like an eskimo, only exposing
her head and neck (yeah, she stayed over last nite). lol.
but i still like looking at
her slp.
although i cant really see much in the dark. heh.
but juz as always, whenever i m enjoying sumting gd, sumting negative muz hit me.
i m a coward, i know.
i plan so long to do sumting, only to back out like a chicken at the last min.
wats new.
more or less numb to it liao.
everytime sumting like dat happens, all i end up telling myself is "see? u gave it up again. huo gai!" wateva.
had a small quarrel w mum juz now.
all becoz i told her i wanna stay over at my fren's hse tmr for overnite mj, and asked her also to sponsor my concession pass for dis mth.
1st, i dun play mj all the time loh!!
she made it sound as if i m addicted to mj, and things like clubbing and dunno wat shit.
kaoz. the no of times i really play mj in a yr can use 10 fingers to count loh.
and i haven even gone clubbing dis yr!!
ok, maybe once, but i didnt tell her. heh. and i didnt even stay out late lah.
she say even if i strike lottery, i will also waste all my $$ away de. kaoz.
and she came and say dat last time I was the 1 who told her i will settle my concession myself!
last time i was still giving tuition so got double income loh!
now i m only working in starhub, and its only few days a mth!
where got enuff for concession+pocket $$+sch notes+leisure+shopping??? urgh.
forgot it.
cant be bothered to go on arguing w her.
i will settle EVERYTING myself.
lucky i m meeting
her and frenz tmr.
and working w
her on sat.
she is wat i need most now. urgh.
