Sunday, April 30, 2006,9:53 PM
yet another day is ending, and i still havent paid any attention to my beckoning pile of notes.
i noe i am too stubborn for my own good, i noe i shld use more of my brains.
but i juz cant bring myself to do what i dun wan to do.
at this age, more is expected of me.
but maybe, i juz cant bring myself to fufil all the expectations.
maybe
u think
u can make me study by refusing to talk to and meet me until exams end.
maybe
u think this will give me time and space to get over everything.
maybe
u want me to get closer to her instead.
maybe all these are juz
ur excuses?
i dun wan sympathy
i dun wan lies
i dun wan ke qi hua
i dun mind being crushed into a million pieces
all i wan is the simple raw truth
what are
u doing?
how do
u feel?
are
u happier this way?
or are
u aching juz like i am?
aching for
ur voice, the sight of
ur msg, a glimpse of
ur shadow
questions i've been wanting to ask
but remain trapped in the abyss of my mind
do pple look for someone that is the opposite of themselves, hoping they could find a complement for their flaws?
or do they find someone that is similar to them, sharing the same good points that attracted them to each other in the 1st place?
izzit sadder to not be able to be with someone compatible with u, or to be able to be with someone is not so compatible instead?
every r/s is like a cycle.
it starts sweet and ends bitter.
its so repetitive that we shld already known what will be coming our way b4 stepping into it.
but even knowing the possibility of a bitter ending, we still stubbornly chose to take the chance by stepping into yet another cycle.
maybe its because of the sweet beginnings,
maybe we juz refuse to believe there will be an ending.
"history repeats itself, but the victim never learns"izzit really dat we never learnt?
or juz dat we end up learning the less important ones instead?
humans are not stupid, they are juz too clever for their own good.
i live by intuition, i work by feelings.
it may be wrong at the end of the day, but i cant deny it exists.
maybe i shld verify every bit of it, and not leave it to assumption
but circumstances juz wun allow me to.
i noe u wun get to noe abt this blog, but heres for u anyway:
"i m glad that u r very happy w her now. i wish u both all the best. finally after searching for so long, u finally found the 1 for u. u've made mistakes, everyone do. but u still deserve to be really happy. i dun hate u anymore, i never really did. although it nvr really mattered to u. maybe we will get a chance to meet again 1 day. things will be different for certain, but i dun tink there will be any more bad blood btw us. maybe we can revive our friendship, bk to the days b4 it all started. only time will tell."
thank god for frenz.
i know i never really said this, but thx to all of u for being with me whenever i need someone.
thx for being able to read my mind and know when i have anyting to tell u guys (even b4 i said anyting).
thx 4 putting up with all my shit whenever i couldnt meet u guys becoz i am with someone else.
thx for keeping all my secrets from my parents :p
thx for telling me the raw truth everytime i am vexed over sumting, juz for the simple reason that we have known each other for so long.
thx for accepting all my differences and flaws as frenz.
thx for everyting else i didnt mention.
above all, thx for juz simply being my frenz :)
~the 1 u end up with might not be the 1 u really love~
