Monday, June 04, 2007,4:29 PM
finally i have the time to type sum stuff.
i always thought i m not dat bad in maintaining any sort of relationships, considering the fact that i still have friends sticking by me even after 10yrs or so.
but sumtimes i juz dun understand.
i dun understand why some friends can accept me for exactly who i am, flaws and all, in all aspects of my personal character, not expecting me to change in order to continue the same intensity of friendship, and some cant.
not even someone whom i consider as a close friend, and another whom i see as someone very important in my life.
i never had such problems with my friends all the way from pri sch to sec sch and to jc time.
yes, we do have arguments and quarrels over issues, most arising from differences in our characters, but these issues NEVER undermined the intensity of our friendship.
no such thing as "becoz u dun wanna change this aspect of ur character, we have to 'downgrade' from being good friends to normal friends".
no such thing at all. it nvr crossed our minds.
even if we dun keep in contact for a period of time due to unresolved conflicts, or juz kp minimal contact, somehow, each of us know dat all of us will ALWAYS be in each other's hearts. no matter wat happens.
even if we refuse to say it out, we know it inside us.
but now i juz realised it doesnt work for everyone.
last night, i was told by a close friend that i should change my bo-chap-ness coz it makes her feel as though i dun really care abt the friendship and i cant be bothered to put in effort to maintain it. and dat if i still dun see a point in changing, den she juz have to 'downgrade' us from being good friends to normal acquaintances.
and she feels dat i should be more reciprocative in my words and msgs. if not i will seem as though i cant be bothered to reply, when pple actually make an effort to msg me.
eg of last nite's conversation: "if i juz msg u something like "have u had ur lunch yet?", wat will u reply?"
me: "err, either yes or no loh"
her: "yah lah! precisely! it will seem as though u cant be bothered to tok to me or sumting loh. if it was me, at least i will say sumthing like "yup, i had chicken rice juz now at wherever" lah, at least u r trying to kp the conversation going"
me: "but i m juz replying wat u are asking wat. wat else u expect me to reply? yes, i ate blah blah blah and wherever when all u ask me is whether i ate anot?"
her: "yah, if u juz reply in 1/2 word replies it will juz seem like u wan to cut off the conversation loh"
tell me, wat m i supposed to answer to dat?
and to top it off, i had these same two issues with the OH too.
so i told my fren the same thing i told the OH, i can only say i will try to change, but i wun promise anything, only time will tell.
but 2dae, it suddenly struck me.
why issit dat i have to change for the 2 of them when all my other close friends dun expect me to?
i have no answer to dat.
